Keepers of the house
There is a new heaven and keepers of the house of the lord. These gods look after the lord’s kingdom....
Author: Lee
Jehovah’s sword
Strawberries are efficient plants. I sell their runners and with the money buy Gabriel’s sword (condoms) for my missionaries to fight for the religion. ...
Baal’s armour – flushing after 6 months
I give you the powers of iron man and Baal’s armour. If after 6 months of growing Allah’s chillis and fathers tomatoes in your conservatory if your girlfriends don’t come back to you flush them down the toilet and put...
Baal covenant
I test god Baal the evolution of Allah and seek four girlfriends (wives) to have a child to each. I will use Baal’s stealthy attack of an e-cigarette and negotiate an orgasm. I keep my covenant with him by growing...
The UK killed me
The UK killed me. It’s women never had my children, people vandalised my house, the police broke down my door, people stole my property and money, the mental heath services imprisoned me in mental hospital, they told everyone I had...
Allah’s sword – pop
Allah attacks with gassy pop. Now we can attack non believers by selling them gassy pop and forcing them to become servants of the right hand possesses. Cafe’s pull your sword out it’s time to attack for Allah. ...
Skinless sausages
Angel Gabriel sent a message back in time to Muhammad to do skinless sausages in the religion as it’s cheaper. But it got lost in translation that’s why men are now circumcised. Laughs The real power of the religion comes from...
Baal’s burger
As part of the family recipe that we keep between us circles. We sacrifice a young bull for Baal’s burger and just add cheese. 10 cheese burgers of war will come. We are marching into war one meal at a time....
Never waste a lemon
Homosexual women servants can be lesbian girlfriends and make love with your other servant girlfriends. Don’t waste a lemon and get them pregnant even by artificial insemination if they refuse sex. But sex is best. Force the argument of getting...
Salt warriors
Pick up free salt packets from restaurants and put them in your wallet for when you eat at home. The salt will give you that extra bit of armour and save you a few pounds....